The real story behind this pokerface

Moving on

2011-11-23T04:04:00.001+08:00

Wow its been a year since i haven't been here..and so many things have changed.what a year..
Maybe i should change my links too

Friends

2010-11-23T14:45:00.001+08:00

This semester was about letting go friends I thought that cared and holding on to those I cherished to much.

I do not look forward to next semester.

Sila ukur baju di badan sendiri

2010-10-18T00:22:00.002+08:00

Kalau da agak2 buat perangai macam sial, ko rasa aku ade hati lagi kat ko.

Jangan nk kembang bontot xtentu pasal.

xgne ko comment blog post aku.Bukan utk ko pon.

Aku da ucapkan selamat tinggal utk ko da lama da.

Leave the ones you love for those who love you more

2010-10-03T04:38:00.000+08:00

This is what mom used to say.

We tend to fall for the wrong people who we somehow created a different version of them in our little minds.

A better version, nicer kinder...so good they're almost perfect.

Then one day you realize it's nothing more than a lie you've made to yourself.

And then you begin to wonder, maybe that person who waited for you after 3 hours should get paid more attention.Not that jerk who gives you only 3 hours.

And soon enough, your little imaginary world you have for yourselfs starts peeling and cracking and crumbling and you realize that world is coming to an end and you should just go.

But just as you start to take one step out of that rotten world you hear a voice.

'Don't let go yet'

And you're torn between your heart and head.

And that is what is up with me.

Hello Goodbye

2010-10-02T04:31:00.000+08:00

It seems like we just exchanged our hellos yesterday.

Time flies so fast and so does words of anger.

I wonder if it's time for me to say good bye to you.

I just feel like I'm not done with my hello yet.

Thanks for the insight.

2010-10-01T04:28:00.002+08:00

This is true.

But sometimes.

It gets tiring to fake it everyday.

The other side

2010-09-19T04:20:00.000+08:00

Today I saw another of you.

The one I wish I had never seen.
It's not supposed to get to me but it crushed me so hard I had to stop and wonder why.

I'll keep your words with me in my heart and in my head.To remind me of how heartless you can be.

Why I'm upset with you

2010-09-03T01:41:00.002+08:00

It's not because I can't have you.I knew that from the start.
It's the way you just left.
It makes you look stupid.Like the rest of them out there.All that sweet talk.
I almost thought you cared.

damn,you don't even qualify to be a friend.

Maybe you are the bad guy.

is it over?

2010-08-25T00:11:00.001+08:00

if it is then tell me.

or maybe you just don't have the balls to say it to my face?

before and now

2010-08-21T06:24:00.004+08:00

Before you always seemed to care.

now you seem so apathic.

before you were always there.

now you just come and go as you please.

He's just not into you: lesson#2

2010-08-05T02:12:00.002+08:00

if he doesn't call you text you you're not on his mind.

busy?

c'mon...how long does it take to text hello?

if you're not on his mind well..

he's just not into you. sorry

He's just not into: lesson#1

2010-07-25T02:51:00.004+08:00

If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you it's

a. he just doesn't want to be in a relationship...with you. (sorry)

b. he's not sure that you're the one.

clear about it now?

should i be bothered?

2010-07-13T13:49:00.002+08:00

Maybe i shouldn't.
but I can't stop wondering.

Don't get me wrong this is not getting my hopes up.

But when does the 'i am more than just sex' part come?

hey you said it.i didn't assume this time.yes.YOU.

Bad Day

2010-07-09T03:34:00.004+08:00

It's just one of those days when you feel like giving up would just be easier.

Wait for everyone to go away and then crawl to the corner of the bedroom and cry the frustration out alone.

What's the use of talking it out anyways.People are just so fake pretending to ask and care but then never really there at all for you.

Honestly that just makes it worse.

school is cool

2010-07-08T02:19:00.005+08:00

Not.

I was looking forward to my first day of class.Honestly i was.

But it sucked.Not that i'm surprise.

My 2 best buddies are gone. My first grouping and I'm stuck with some people I don't really like.I'm sitting next to a stranger and i feel like a freak.I hate all the subjects this semester and I almost wished I never joined.

oh well.there's always that cute guy in class to gawk at.

Truth be told

2010-06-25T16:24:00.001+08:00

It's fun being single and having guys flocking over you.
It's not fun when none of them is the guy you're running after.

sigh.

Keroncong untuk Ana

2010-06-23T23:16:00.007+08:00

Lagu aku paling benci main waktu Orchestra dlu.Sbb aku slalu squeak time bridge.Tapi tba2 aku rindu plak kat clarinet aku.da lama aku xsentuh ko.

hari ini buang tabiat aku rindu nak main lagu keroncong untuk Ana. Aku tau aku slalu salah tempo tapi itu suma salah drums.

Sorry Haidar. Ko drummer yang hebat tapi ko slalu salah tempo sbb tuh aku slalu salah jugak.

Hari ini pelangi dlm hati aku patah

2010-06-22T22:11:00.006+08:00

Tapi patah skit je.Bukan aku putus cinta pon.

Tapi sakit la jugak.skit.adui.

Maybe aku assume too much.
Maybe he was referring to something else not so obvious to my small little brain.

Nak tanye directly malu malu meow-meow.

Ayat sedapkan hati.

Xpe.Sellotape kat umah banyak.

What if you fall for someone you can't have?

2010-06-21T05:53:00.002+08:00

Do you go?
Do you wait?
Or just hang on with uncertainty?

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T16:33:00.004+08:00

I had a crappy day today. It got better later on but still felt shitty at the end of the day.

Not like it's unusual or anything.
Today I got an text message from you. Asking me why I'm so unhappy.This is unusual.

Of all the people in the world to be able to look thru the the 'I am fine and fucking happy' act, to pry open the pokerface mask I've had all this while and actually realise how miserable I was, I never thought it would be you.

I had always thought it would be my besties or even that guy or my mother to pry me open but not you.

But for someone who I felt never really cared much, it means alot for me.

You may never know this but I'm doing my best to live up to your name and trying not to die or fuck up in the process.

I'm glad to have you in my life even if you are sometimes like nazi.

Happy Father's Day dad.

Boys will be boys

2010-06-15T22:41:00.005+08:00

The first few months your handphone will be flooded with text messages.Calls every night without fail.
Then after a few while it'll stop slowly.Their excuses will always be the same.

I'm busy.

This is just a typical male behavior.So girls, please stop asking me why. They're just like that.

Dilema

2010-06-14T02:24:00.004+08:00

I didn't make it it to Dean's list this semester. Hell I didn't even pass.
This is new. I don't even know what to feel. I've never failed.

Oh well there's always a first time for everything.

I fucked up bad last year.

I guess this means extra work next semester and the rest of this year.

Now i'm having 2nd thoughts on the new job.

I'll be surprised if I make it this year without fainting.

I am your Best Friend

2010-06-14T02:10:00.003+08:00

If i could shield you from the world and it's pain i would but i can't.

It breaks my heart to see you like this crying day and night from your room to mine, from the house to the office.

You need to learn that it was never your fault and that he is just not worth it.

I know that it hurts, trust me I've been there, worst than you. But it will get better with time I promise.

Please don't put your self worth at the bottom of his feet again, you're worth too much than that.

Listen to your best friend.

She knows what she's talking about.

jangan salahkan anak kalau anak mencarut.salahkan kerajaan

2010-06-07T23:52:00.001+08:00

gummy yummy

2010-06-05T18:25:00.002+08:00

Even though i still think Crystal should've won I still think Lee's cute.

so what if he's a little soft around the edges?

I wish i had someone to hold an umbrella for me while it rained

2010-06-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

Dear Loser

2010-06-02T23:25:00.003+08:00

Ko mmg menyusahkan aku sekarang.
ko punye pasal aku susah.
xreti ke nk clear up your own shit skg?

aku jgk yang kene buat kan.xpasal2 nama aku plak yang terlibat.Ko tunggu la.kali nie aku mmg xkan lepaskan ko mcm tuh je.Ingt ko senang2 nk lepas tangan mcm tuh.

patut la ko dicerai kan.

pandai ko buat cerita simpati ko.

bole x ko xpayah da nk call kwn2 aku buruk2kan aku mcm aku lak yang jahat.

setakat ko bli pasir kucing utk aku xpayah la nk sebut2 bgtau sume org.da la aku yang bagi ko duit mntk tolong blikan kete pon aku bg utk tlg bli.bab tuh xde plak ko sebut yer.

ni ha..hutang aku bila nk settle nih? klu stakat nk anta 'please call me back' kat aku pastu stakat nk ckp ko rindu kat aku xpayah.

yang aku nk dengar bila ko bole settle hutang ko je. Hari tuh ko jgk yang berlagak sangat kan ko nk jadi laki yang bertanggungjawab konon nak tolong.mana nye? habuk pon xde.

cukup2 la nk ckp ko rindu kat aku.aku xrindu kat ko and aku xde ape2 perasaan kat ko.tolong paham dan tanam kat dalam otak ko yang kecik tuh.

Dear Stranger

2010-05-29T09:17:00.004+08:00

For someone simple you are damn complicated.
When I think of you i just go

OMG WTF?

Silence is the worst weapon

2010-05-26T21:08:00.001+08:00

it makes me go crazy.

i wish i could have you tonight.

sigh.

Listen carefully.

2010-05-26T02:04:00.004+08:00

I didn't come to you with high hopes.
I've learned hope is just an excuse to escape the reality of life.

Don't worry about breaking my heart.
there's not much damage more you can do anyways.

Don't wonder if i am mad pissed or fucked up.
asking and doing nothing is pointless to ask.
This I've told many of you before.

I have no expectations.
I know there's never a pot of gold at the end of any rainbow.

I told you I am fine where I am.I'll go with the flow.

your game your rules your call.
i just want you that's all.

I am a drama queen.This is my flaw.
I overreact I'm fussy and sometimes hard to handle.
I am human after all.

Don't worry about me

2010-05-25T16:54:00.003+08:00

i'm always ok.

i may curse you smack you and make your life hell.

but i'll always make you smile.

aren't you lucky to have a friend like me you silly bitches?

What a day

2010-05-25T14:46:00.003+08:00

sitting on the edge of a sink wet and cold with no place to go.
exactly how i feel.

These walls will go up

2010-05-25T03:31:00.001+08:00

this time i'll make sure they're made of bricks.

Good Morning World

2010-05-20T06:49:00.000+08:00

Please be nice to me today.
I need a break.

wake up call

2010-05-20T05:38:00.002+08:00

Do you really need me to come up to you and say "hey bitches, I'm pissed and you're the reason'.

Hello wake up.It's pretty obvious.I'm not going to go around with a sign on my head that say's 'ANGRY MODE'.

That's pretty much the reason why I have pokerface stuck with me.

And don't you even dare tell me you're a little offended with me.

I make 1 lousy mistake and now everything is my fault?

I am tired of caring for what everyone else feels.'Cause at the end of the day no ones seems to care how fucked up I am.

So if you're not gonna do anything about it don't ask me if I'm angry pissed mad or whatever shit.

Pointless.

i hate you

2010-05-12T03:21:00.003+08:00

yes you.

You are an asshole.
You are a parasite.
You are a shit head.

To see your face makes me want to punch your balls flat out.

I hope you burn in hell.

happy birthday to me

2010-04-24T13:39:00.002+08:00

I'm 24 years old.

does age really matter? someone told me age is just a number.True.

But then again, it depends right?

I mean if you're my age with a job but still broke, you're still going to school which you know you can't pay for and you don't go out much like most people your age that you practically live in a different world well then that kinda sucks.it would be different if you're 18 wouldn't it.

no wonder i woke up feeling like crap.

note to self.
happy birthday darla.
for your birthday present today you gonna learn to be selfish and love yourself before others.

Is being spontaneous good?

2010-04-22T03:18:00.004+08:00

I can finish your sentences but you're still a stranger.

This is so not me.
somehow meeting you has brought out the other side of me.

gosh i don't even think much when I'm with you.I just do stuff.And amzingly I am just happy.

I wonder if I take a chance with you would you still stay longer or go away faster.

I'd better get a grip.

Or you're gonna make me fall flat on my face again.

sigh.

Stay away from my friends

2010-04-18T18:56:00.002+08:00

Ko nk tau nape aku ttp handphone tutup nombor Digi aku?

1. Ko da rosakkan hp aku pastu ko buat bodoh
2. Aku da xnk dgr suara ko atau cerita sedih ko
3. Ko sial.

Memang aku marah.Aku bli handphone tuh sebulan gaji ko kot. Ko bole plak nak bantai gne smpi hang.Ko mmg sial.

Sekarang ko xdpt cr pasal ngn aku ko nk attack kawan2 aku. Ape masalah ko nk buruk2 kan kawan aku sekarang? da xde point da ke? Xde motif? Tu la kepala ko batu bnyk sgt smpi jadi mereng.

Aku tau ngn cara ko attack kawan2 aku ko saja nk aku sakit hati.Ko nk ugut2 kawan aku mcm mana ko ugut aku.

Ko xnk gadohh ngn aku.kata2 nih dr mulut ko.Tapi skg bila ko usik kawan2 aku ko cr gadoh ngn aku.

Aku tau ko dtg kawasan umah aku.Aku tau td ko kt luar pintu.Bagus la.Aku da standby kayu hoki aku da.

I know you're watching.

Is this ok?

2010-04-17T03:07:00.002+08:00

I kinda miss u.

alot.

was there a ground rule for this?

Kicking the habit

2010-04-14T00:00:00.003+08:00

Yes I know I said I'll quit.

But I can't go cold turkey. It didn't work remember?

I will kick this habit far far away.

But let me do it at my own pace.

So please stop nagging.

I'd rather you just support me.

Bad boy

2010-04-12T06:01:00.005+08:00

Someone asked me what I think would qualify as being bad.

As a guy it would probably be:

kaki pompan
kaki pukul
kaki dadah
kaki rompak
kaki kencing
kaki cerita gebang
kaki judi
kaki arak
Kaki kikis pompan

Have i been with these people?

Yes.All of the above.

Would it change how I feel if you were one of the above.

Unfortunately it doesn't. I still got the hots for you.

Will I ask you to change?

Only if it makes you happy.

Would I still consider the risks?

I'll take my chances.

so chill.it's not like we're getting married tomorrow.

Last night I had to run

2010-04-11T18:03:00.003+08:00

It was supposed to be simple night.
go out have dinner give out birthday wishes (nape rmi sgt lahir bln 4?) and go to sleep.
Simple.

I was wrong.

Went downstairs saw my ex.1 drama to another.Chased me around the parking lot.
Had to call my housemate's bf (my fav driver was unavailable) hopped into their car (mine was blocked by the ding head)and raced over to Wangsa Maju.

Went home wished everyone happy birthday, kne marah nape wish lambat (if they only knew) took my shower, got to paranoid to sleep, went online met someone,got some answers.

It wasn't so bad after all.

Happy Birthday April Babies.

Stranger

2010-04-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

Isn't it wierd how a total stranger who's relationship with you is so simple it complicates you and yet the complexity of it simplifies life itself?

i haven't laugh like this for 5 years.

I'm not complicated

2010-04-09T02:05:00.002+08:00

I'm simple.I'm not complicated.
I don't need the answers if you can't answer now.
I'm fine where I am now.
I'll go with the flow.

Liar liar pants on fire

2010-04-08T13:47:00.001+08:00

Are you telling me my friends are lying?
It's 10 against 1.
just admit it.
LIAR

Q

2010-04-08T03:02:00.003+08:00

Aku pernah cakap, macam mana pon ko tipu, ko tuduh aku, ko reka cerita pasal aku, ALLAH akan tunjuk satu hari.

Dari dulu sampai sekarang ko tuduh aku ada jantan lain scandal sana sini. Bila ko xde bukti ko bagi aku alasan ko insecure sebab past ko.

Ex ko tido ngn jantan lain sana sini. Ex ko tipu ko. Ko nampak ngn biji mata ko sendiri.

Bila aku kata kat ko kalau ko xboleh percaya kat aku ko lepaskan aku. Aku xkan paksa ko. Aku bukan orang macam tuh. Tapi ko xnak.Mula la ko sanjung aku atas bawah puji aku perempuan terbaik ko pernah jumpa.Hati perempuan memang mudah cair.Sekalipon die orang johor.Gangster la bak kata orang KJ.Bila aku maafkan ko tuduh aku ko buat balik perangai ko.

Malam tadi aku balik aku penat aku lapar, nak lepak ngn kwn2 duit tinggal rm4.Nnt kang esok xcukup plak duit toll nak pg kelas.Sebab ape?gaji aku kan aku abis sebab gaji aku sampai dulu sebelum gaji ko.

Penat lelah ngan sakit dada aku dapat tau ko yang tipu.Ape yang aku pernah syak ko aku tanya ko skali je. Ko nafi aku terima. Aku xske syak orang lebih.Dosa namanye.

Allah tuh maha kaya.

Aku kenal kot perempuan tuh. Satu tempat keje kot. Memang die cantik. Aku pernah keluar ngan die duduk satu meja makan sama2. Aku pernah rehat ngan die.

Ko kata die kawan je kenapa facebook pon xnk add? Patut la ko risau sgt bila kwn2 aku xnk approve ko.

Tergamak kan ko bwak die naik kete aku yang aku mintak tolong tgkkan sementara aku balik kampung? Siap call aku tuh die kat sblh.

Tergamakkan ko bgtau die yang aku slalu cari gaduh ngan ko.Ko terpaksa ngn aku walaupun keluarga ko xske aku? Klu mak bapak ko xske aku apasal nk pinjam kete aku bila barang dapur mak ko abis? Apasal nk suh aku jaga anak ko bila keluarga ko bole senang lenang ade.Masalah aku ke? Tapi aku buat.Sebab sejahat aku sebagai seorang manusia aku xbole xtolong orang bila aku mampu.

Aku tau aku xcantik.Die memang cantik.Die daripada dunia ko.Malam bole ajak pg joget2 kat kelab malam,berseronok siang malam.Aku memang membosankan.Aku bukan buat2 ayat sedih.Memang betul.Aku lagi suke duduk umah baca buku aku tengok discovery channel.Aku da kata kalau ko nak sangat pergi la aku xhalang.Ko sibuk sangat die anak YB la cantik la ape haram jadah la.Tapi sayang die ade boyfriend kan.

Aku sedih atau kisah ke?

Ade la skit.Tapi bukan sebab aku dapat tau ko ngan die lebih dari kawan.Tapi aku terkilan selama nih ko tuduh aku bukan2 sedangkan ko yang buat.

Ko kata aku tinggalkan ko sebab laki tuh.Ade x ko pikir perangai ko yang menyusahkan aku selama nih la sebab aku tinggalkan ko? Ade ko pikir perangai ko yang xmatang nih ke yang jadi sebab aku tinggalkan ko?

X.ko tetap cari salah aku.

xpela.lepas nih jangan ckp ngan aku pasal syg psl kejujuran.Ko setuju aritu yang ALLAH akan tunjuk sume kan? Memang die tunjuk pon.

KO CURANG.

My new status

2010-04-08T02:39:00.003+08:00

why did I change to single? Because I am.

I didn't change it because of another man. It was him all along.

I told you I was fed up. I told you the problem.You heard me but you never listened.

I am tired of taking care of you. I should be the one taken care of. I am broke, sick and bruised and yet I leave you after I've done my obligations. what does that mean to you.

You told me you would change. I heard that from last year when you were a parasite sucking the life out of me.

Don't tell me I am cold cruel and selfish. My hands are worn out from drying your clothes. My feet are scarred from walking when you had my car. My ears are deaf from your false accusations. My nose is bleeding, i can't stand your stench of lies. My mouth is dry, i've yelled too much. I am stick and bones i have not eaten a proper meal for days.

You talk about love and honesty but behind me you tell them I'm evil.You can spread your rumours.

If I am evil than so be it. Stop beggingg for me I will not come back.
I told you before I am telling you again.

One day I'll be gone.I'll just go.

And i did.

What furballs mean to me

2010-01-15T00:22:00.002+08:00

Say what you want.But taking away my cat is like ripping my heart out.They're not just cats.They're MINE.

i am in total sadness.

Avatar

2010-01-02T02:11:00.002+08:00

This movie started off a bit slow but it was damn cool.
I never thought I'd be into Sci fi movies.i'd give it a 4 out of 5 stars.But basically because I only like the scenes where they had the war against humans and avatars.But the storyline is pretty much predictable.A war and love story.

2010

2010-01-02T01:51:00.002+08:00

New Year aku still xbest seperti aku jangkakan.

ok maybe my expectations are a bit high.

Da bertahun xcelebrate new year gila2.Terima kasih la kt ex aku sbb kongkong aku due to his close minded personality.

No one understands why new year's eve means a lot to me.It may seem shallow but yes it bugs me that everyone has a cool party pic to upload on FB every year for new year and i don't.It's childish bit it's a fact.

new year's resolution?
celebrate everything OTT.

When Best Friends become just friends

2009-12-24T06:11:00.002+08:00

I just got off chatting on Facebook with a girl I met on campus about 3 years ago.

She was actually my best friend.

Dulu la.When we could share each other anything.Tapi bila da grad masuk alam pekerjaan everything changed.

Ntah.Xtau la what happened.We didn't fight or did anything to end the friendship.

Aku xtau la on her side of the story ape yg die rasa.

But what kind of bestie would someone be if they didn't want to join and be a part of our lives? Someone who wants us to create a whole new world for them.

Mula2 mmg aku salahkan diri aku.Mungkin sebab aku da sibuk sgt smpi nk jumpa pon xsempat walaupun aku perlu drive hanya 15minit je.Tapi mmg pon.Aku kuar keje da kul 7 sampai umah da kul 9.Sabtu Ahad die keje.Bile nk jumpa? Ok maybe that's a lame excuse.

Tp die pon xpernah nk call atau ajak jmp.Ajak pergi clubbing ngn kawan2 die ade la.Itu pon nnt kul 2 pagi aku kne anta die balik pastu esoknye aku keje.Lagipon buat ape? Bila aku ajak die lepak ngn kawan2 aku die xnk.Xpe la.Mungkin kwn2 aku xsama standard atau cukup cool utk die.Bf aku pon die benci.Bila lepak sama buat muka masam.

Aku xmintak pon die jadi kwn baik pon ngn bf aku or kwn2 aku pon tp ape salahnye kan.Bile die nk ajak aku kuar ngn kwn die bole,bile jmp dok citer2 psl bf baru die sepanjang masa bole.

Dlu masa die ngn Bf die yg xgne dan yang aku xbape ske tuh aku bole je nk tegur baik bile terserempak say 'Hi'.Xdela pulak aku tunjuk depan2 aku xske.Nape die xbole nk buat mcm tuh utk aku.

Aku bkn nk mintak ape tp just respect and have a bit of courtesy je la.Is that so much of a sacrifice for you to do?

Ko xkenal kwn2@bf aku langsung ko da terus anti.Bile aku tanye ko jwb 'perlu ke aku nk explain'.

At least bg la muka skit.Klu ko rasa kwn2@bf ak unie biadap ngn ko ke ape lps tuh ko da xnk jmp da diorg ok fine nih blum ape2 lg da blacklist.Ko just nk this friendship just aku ngn ko.Xde org lain da.Ko nk aku bt ko cm princess everything is about what you want and who you want to hang out with and who is or not ok to be friends with.Ok.

Xpela.

I'm not gonna rack my brain anymore and find out how I can fix this because it's not my problem.

So lepas nih aku xperlu la nk 'explain' nape aku xpernah nk ajak ko pergi mana event yg penting dlm hidup aku becuase obviouisly aku pon xcukup penting kot dlm hidup ko da yg ko susah sgt nk bagi muka.Jgn tnye aku nape aku downgrade ko from bestie to a friend.

There's noone to be blamed. I guess i just got to matured for this friendship.I wish we were still best friends but i guess you have a different view of what a bestie should be.

For me, it means sharing.

Tribute to Germaine

2009-12-02T17:13:00.003+08:00

I was celebrating the eve of my dad's birthday when i got a call.

"germaine's dead.She passed away this afternoon".

i had no words to speak that time.

Germaine was one of my girlfriends.the best you could have.she was only 21 and COD? dengue.

that was it? a tiny mosquito took th life of my friend.

My last words to her was "i'll see you after I quit my job.I'll see you after the 26th and we'll go shopping.I have so much shit to gossip with you.I miss you like hell.I'll call you next week".

I never got to call her.i didn't even get to see her in the hospital.

I'm sorry Germ I never got to take you for a 2nd round at Borneo.I'm sorry I didn't call you.I'm sorry I never made it to the funeral.
everytime I listen to Mariah carey's bye bye I'll think of you.

godammit I miss you so much.

I hate sharing

2009-11-30T00:08:00.004+08:00

Aku memang benci org berkira.
klu stakat bnde kecik pon nk sume ikut unit pengunaan xpayah.Aku xde bising ape2 pon.
Ko nk tgk aku berkira? korg tgk la lepas nih mmg sume aku berkira setiap sen!
Cukup bagus aku xcaj korg utk minyak kete aku titik peluh aku nk settlekan all this shit.

TENSION.

Skg kat JB bole la relax.

Blk KL tension balik.Jumpa muka2 org berkira nih.

Da la kne jadi balaci kat umah.Da nasib dapat housemate asal boleh.Klu xkemas umah bau taik.busuk.
AKu xde kt umah baru bape hari umah da kelam kabut.
baru nk bli perabot ikea.Xpela tunggu thn depan je kot.

Damn.Bila sume nk berakhir?

2012

2009-11-25T13:16:00.004+08:00

I saw the movie yesterday.
A bit disappointed but at the same time bewildered.
Is that the correct word to describe?

The movie wasn't so bad, the effects were cool. But I expected the movie if it was about the world coming to end, we'd be coming out of the theatre sad distraught and ready to ask for mercy. It was funny and no one died except the extras in the movie plus 1 president and 1 prime minister.

I didn't want to tell this on a blog because i thought people would think I'm crazy but fuck them. I saw some wierd things in my mind before i assume it has connections to this end of days but very vauge.After watching the movie there were some parts I similar to what I've seen before. Only a handful of people know I've seen these so called visions which I have yet to interpret what the hell it is. For sure I know it's not a dream.Here are a few things i saw that were the same in the movie:

1. Some people were saved indoors and some were left outside to fight for themselves.
2. The meteor rain only in my vision I had only seen 1 gigantic one coming to earth.

3. The ocean and earth splitting up but in mine vision the ocean split into 2.

I might be going nuts I might not, Maybe it's a sign to repent or maybe a coincidence. But what I do know that in my vision I was 25 and the world wasn't coming to an end yet. Only that the apocolypse is about to start.

And i just calculated just now,I'll be 25 in 2012.

shit.

Why we need a salary raise

2009-11-19T14:09:00.002+08:00

Why are we letting them do this?

2009-11-12T12:06:00.003+08:00

I don't get why these people are doing what they're doing? And yet who are to blame them when we ourselves just sit and watch and do nothing about it. If you have any ideas on how we can stop this please let me know. and no stupid ideas.

The things that brigthen up my day #1

2009-11-04T13:18:00.003+08:00

How am i not supposed to laugh at this?

Here's the full story:

A taxpayer called up the LHDN (Inland Revenue Board) in Terengganu,
and
asked for Form B. The LHDN clerk who answered the call asked for the

address to send the form to. The conversation goes:

LHDN CLERK : Boleh bagi alamat encik? (Can you give me your

address?)

TAXPAYER : Ok, hantar ke Ranhill Worley. (Send to Ranhill Worley)

LHDN CLERK : Apa Ranhill? ...... eja macam mana? (err.... How to spell

Ranhill?)

TAXPAYER : R.. for Rumah... A for Ayam (Chicken).. N for Nangka

(Jackfruit)... H for Holland (country) ... I for itik

(Duck)... L for lain- lain(Others)....'

LHDN CLERK : Ok.. nanti kami hantar ke alamat itu (OK, we will send to

that address..)

After waiting for a week, the form arrived - have a look at the
address
on the envelope!!!

bail time

2009-10-30T21:20:00.002+08:00

resign letter da anta.i'm supposed to be doing admin shit.

why am i still doing sales?

another 3 weeks to go is so excrutiating!

xsabar.i want freedom.aku nk ddk dlm bilik aku dgn kucing2 aku xde sape kacau.(kecuali Intan sbb die roomate aku).

yes.

bebas dr penjara hidup.

My fully sponsored trip.

2009-10-27T22:04:00.003+08:00

I've been hating my job for ages now.I think everyone knows but now.But 1 thing I can be thankful of now is that I'm glad I joined aand am leaving at the right time.I just got a fully sponsered trip to Bali.

This is the best way to make sure you're leave your job with no regrets.

moral of the story : ketuk duit company anda sebelum and resign

moving on

2009-10-23T03:35:00.003+08:00

i know i've said this many times but i am quitting my job.why? because it's going nowhere.the salary sucks my friends all resigned and i don't mingle with my collegues.i know it's crazy.I've this huge chance of gting promoted but until that time comes i am finaly leaving

i just need to giv the letter.shit.3 hate facing bosses and their sad faces with their crummy promises.

but i have to do it.next monday.26th october 2009.

wish me luck

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2009-10-08T04:38:00.004+08:00

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-Start with a minimum single premium payment of $5,000.

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-Available for term of 5 years
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As an example, A invests $10,000 in 2009. In 2014, he will get $11,314 (2.5%pa compounded).

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My new resolution

2009-09-06T13:31:00.002+08:00

My new housemates just came home with a $10,000 paycheck.

shit..

I mean i'm happy for them but it just reflects how bad my life is.My paycheck? It's so shitty I might as well just quit.

But then again this just makes me want to work harder.There's so much more in life for me to catch.

So I've made myself a resolution to work my ass off this year.By hook or by crook Ii have to do the stupid essay to enroll for my MBA.

deadline : 30th September 2009.

Damn just a few more days.

I have no idea where to start.

But I'm enjoying the moments I have now.Living in a bachelor pad and having fun with the girls.Something I wasn't able to do for the past 3 years because I had jerk for a boyfriend at that time.But it's change now he's outta the picture.Thank god for that.

new resolution?

cool boyfriend. check
cool house. check
cool housemates. check
new career. in the making

Why do I want to be on top?

2009-09-03T20:51:00.001+08:00

Salah ke kalau aku slalu nak jadi on top?

Bukan sebab xnak mengalah xnk terima kritikan org lain.
Bkn sebab xbole berkompromi.

Tp buat pe? Buat ape aku xnak kejar utk dptkan yang terbaik utk diri aku sendiri.

Mungkin ko rasa sifat aku sentiasa nk menang menjengkelkan ko.Tp itu sume sebab aku ade akal fikiran utk fikirkan ape terbaik utk aku.Aku ade opiniion aku sendiri sbb aku bkn pompan zaman dlu ikut je org lain ckp jd mcm bodoh kuli batak.

Mungkin sebab ini la melayu smpi skg masih bkn bangsa yg plg berjaya. Panjat KLCC pon orang perancis.

Org melayu kita mmg macam nie.Asal boleh.Xdpt jd no. 1 pon xpe.Bersyukur la ngn ape yg ade.usaha xde visi xde.

Xpela klu ko rasa aku bodoh sombong sebab aku slalu nk on top.Tapi sebab aku slalu fight nk on top la hidup aku makin maju.

Setan terlepas

2009-09-01T19:47:00.003+08:00

7.47pm and still in the office.Budget macam rajin sgt smpi boss pon nak puji padahal tgh tgu si bulat kat bawah abis shift kul 9.

1 jam lagi nk tunggu.Adui.dulu masa nk balik awal slalu ade meeting.Skg da xde meeting balik lambat jgk.

duduk termenung dpn PC teringt plak kat sorg budak nih.Nama dia A.Aku malas nk letak nama sebenar nanti kang dapat pulak sms2 xberpuas hati.

Aku mmg xpuas hati ngn die.Dulu cari pasal ngn aku.Jual cake coklat ngn aku yang xde la sedap mana pastu kata aku xbayar.Padahal aku bagi depan2 mata ko kot.Ko yang buta sape suh.Ko ingt aku xmampu bayar cake ko yang stakat RM12 tuh? 10 tan la aku bley bli.

Skg cari pasal ngn kwn baik aku.Setan mana ntah rasuk die subuh td pagi maki hamun halau kawan aku kuar umah.Padahal member da bayar da kot utk bulan 9.Da la menghalau berlagak plak tuh bole nk refund balik sume.Tuan umah pon cakap ko hutang duit umah sewa 2 bulan smpi skg ade hati nak refund duit kat member aku.

Kalau da setan mmg mcm nie la perangai xkira la bulan puasa ke x.Orang malam2 pergi terawih buat amal jariah ko pg kelab malam balik mabuk.Patut la hidup ko xsenang.keluarga porak peranda kawan ko yang lain sume buat taik kat ko.Walaupun bende nih xjadi kat aku tapi sbb ko buat kat member baik aku mmg aku doa ko dapat balasan 1000x ganda.Ko tunggu je la.Satu hari ko yang kne halau mengemis tepi jalan masa tuh kitorg sume pandang gelak je.

Tergamak ko buat orang lain macam tuh sampai Astro ko yang free tuh pon ko xnak bagi org lain tgk.Klu macam tuh baik ko mati je la lagi bagus bawak skali piring astro masuk kubur.Boleh tgk Ustaz Aqkil masa ko tunggu turn ko nak masuk neraka jahanam.

Moby's last day

2009-08-28T09:13:00.002+08:00

Came home from the Buka Puasa event at Cititel Midvalley (food wasn't so nice).
Stop by Ampang to bring home a syringe so i could feed Moby some milk.

Came home.

He was gone.

MAY HE REST IN PEACE
MOBY
JULY 28TH '09-AUG 28TH '09

Moby

2009-08-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

This is Moby.

Today is dedicated to him.
5 weeks ago he was doing just fine.Fat and furry. Now he's so sick the bones are sticking out of his skin.Mika doesn't know what to do about him and neither do I.His left eye is gone and all I can see is his mucus from his eyes.I don't know how long he'll survive but he's still fighting.

Pray for his life.

lunchtime in the office

2009-08-27T13:20:00.001+08:00

It's 1pm.

And it's the fasting month. I'm hungry I have another 70 sales calls to make in 4 hours and I'm just hungry.

All the cool people are gone.Jenny,Heni,Germaine..waaa! This is what i feel-->

tension nye.Encik Bulat demam panas pulak arini.Intan rehat kul 5 la pulak.Tgh puasa berasap bole.hilang kebosanan yg teramat nie.waaa!

Every day I come to work sit at my desk talk to clients.Lunchtime depends if there's any one to hang out with.But usually it's just lunch at my desk.Done my job go back home.

we're supposed to go to Cititel to open fast and do the farewell party for the big boss.I just can't wait to see the menu.

Just another 6 more hours to go.Shit i can die of boredom.

Forgive but never forget

2009-08-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

Never in my life have i ever done anything so bad as kicking someone out of my car.

But I don't regret it.Not because I'm just being an ass but just because someone told me that whatever I do wrong I have to learn from it.

But I'm taking this opportunity to ask forgiveness from everyone who reads this post not just because it's Ramadhan but just thinking that I don't want to die and have to search everyone i hurt to say sorry.I'd rather rest in peace instead.

If you don't forgive this year fine I'll ask again next year.No hard feelings.I totally understand.I still got some people that I still have grudges.You know the hell who you are asshole.

But most important.Mr Bulat.Thank you for everything.I learned my lesson.Forgive me for the past and let me make it up to you.

Why I'm pissed again

2009-08-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

I just don't understand some people.

Ok I'll get straight to the point. I mentioned about her before. Yes it's her.Again.I thought it was over between us but no she just has to piss me off.Either that or she is just one dumb bitch.

Here's the story.We so called 'cleared the air' when she bombarded me with some stupid email telling me she's so in love with her bf and couldn't be even happier.

Now what the hell are you doing prancing around telling my bf you guys broke up blah blah blah you're so sad blah blah blah..what is it? you ain't got no more friends bitch?

Keep your personal life to yourself.We don't need to use your pathetic love life for our entertainment.I've got my cable and 32" LCD for that.

Bday Boy

2009-08-21T17:41:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Baby.

Today means a lot to me. Wanna know why? For 11 months this is actually the first day you blew up and and had a fit.Honestly I didn't know you had it in you.Almost makes you seem more real as a person and not some god damn perfect creature God just threw out of the sky.

This is also the 1st time we celebrated together and your first cool party.ok.it wasn't so cool but I was running out of budget and I know it was less of a surprise party because I just can't keep my mouth shut.Nonetheless I had fun.

Just wanted to let you know that i told my girlfriends to buy the cake first and then when you got mad and didn't want to go out everyone thought it was canceled then you decided to gout with me the last minute so I had to find a cake at 11.30pm and thank god for Secret Recepie I just thought you should know. Yes i know i have a big mouth.

And today is the 2nd year of the first day we celebrate fasting month.

I just hoped you enjoyed your birthday like I did.

My next step

2009-08-11T18:15:00.000+08:00

4 hari 3 mlm duduk dlm hospital jaga die.

Never crossed my mind i would've had the patience to take care of the sick.I hate hospitals.The smell and the creepy sounds at night.

We celebrated 11 months of life together in a ward surrounded by nurses and doctors and people infected by H1N1.

This was my wake up call.

Memang aku syg die.Maybe it's time for the next step now.

The chances of losing him in the operating theater were slim but still i there was a chance i did and i'm thankful he's still here with me.

But the thought of losing him slapped me hard.

Maybe it's time i changed and not be such a bitch so much.

I was so focused on my own goals before but i guess now i just want to go for our goals.

whatever that may be.i'm still thinking.

Cara aku ingin menjadi kaya

2009-07-27T19:00:00.000+08:00

Selama aku keje da nk setahun la jugak kt bank tersayang aku nih gaji aku still mcm ciput walaupon boss da janji nk naikkan comission.Tapi janji tinggal janji.

Baru ingat nk nak jimat bulan nie.Intan pon da nk jadi housemate baru aku save skit duit sewa umah.Tapi baru nak budget bulan nie aku kira2 balik baru 4 hari aku da blanja lebih dr 2K.Ape ntah aku bli aku pon xsure la.

Aku jumpa jln buntu sampai la aku teringt FOREX.

WAlaupon aku keje bank aku still bodoh lagi bende macam nie.Maklum la 3 tahun hidup aku habis amik ijazah blaja pasal ikan.Tau aku amik degree business.Tapi da Tuhan tentukan mcm tuh aku terima la.Nasib baik aku jumpa teman hidup yang tau selok belok pasal mata wang nie.

Ok.maybe korg rasa aku gila kot.Duit da xcukup nak labur kat FOREX.Klu lost? mati la aku.

Tapi nak ikutkan nie je la jalan paling senang nk dapat duit tambahan.
Aku labur $USD 250 buat 1 pip=$3.Klu 1 hari buat 20 pip da $60 klu seminggu da $300.Tukar RM da jadi 1.5K..lebih kurang la..Hmm..xpela,nak tarik balik pon aku da labur.Skg nie aku target utk smpi minggu nie aku dpt $300.

Wait and see.

SAGA TO BE CONTINIUED.

I am the party pooper

2009-07-26T20:00:00.000+08:00

Arini at last dpt aku pg birthday party kawan aku ka Club Passion.Yela klu dlu asyik kne kongkong je ngn Ex aku jgn harap aku dapat jejak kaki kt club walaupun niat nk sambut birthday kawan je.

Seronok mmg seronok.Dapat plak Bf joget plg best kt situ.Tp malangnye die dapat aku yang kaku.haha..

Tapi aku bukan nk cerita psl party cuma nk terangkan kan kenapa aku berubah jd marah malam tuh.

Bkn sbb perempuan.Tolong paham ye, masa tuh xde kene mengena pon ngn die.Aku marah sebab ade seseorang tuh mungkir janji.

Ye aku tau aku xde hak atas perbuatan sape2 tp ko kne paham kenapa aku marah.Aku takut mlm nie ko kata last lepas tuh lain kali pergi pon ko kata last.

I'm afraid of losing you.I admit that.

Tp aku tau hak aku kt mana sbb tuh aku diam je ngn muka taik mcm nk kne lenyek2.Aku xnk mengamuk depan sume org sbb tuh aku diam.Aku xmarah pon pasal org lain tp sbb ko je.

Tapi bila aku da cool down ade pulak insan yang aku menyampah sgt call laki aku pukul 2 pagi.Mana aku xmengamuk.Mmg bkn salah ko.Tapi ko kne paham kenapa aku marah.Bukan bende nih baru start aku marah.Just because aku senyum salam buat baik bukan maknanye aku 100% ok ngn all the shit she gave me.Klu ko baca blog entry aku sblm nie mungkin ko lg phm entry aku kali nih kot.

Tapi macam mana pon aku tau ko aku punye sorg.Aku tulis entry nih sbb aku nk ko phm aku marah ko sbb aku nk jaga harta ternilai aku.

Whatever it is, i still had fun.And I thank you for bringing me to that party.Something I wasn't able to do before I found you.Words were exchanged and tears were spilled,but what you gave me that night was time for to think and understand how much you mean to me.

You are the life of my party and the party of my life.

My Happy Day

2009-07-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

I couldn't be happier today.

Da bape minggu fucked up ngn personal life work life social life akhirnya everything is settling down.

Aku da xparanoid sgt psl that one person as much as I use to be. BUT please understand the statement.NOT AS PARANOID AS BEFORE.bkn da xparanoid ye.I'm still jumpy about that whole shit so i hope you understand i'm a bit ok but not 100% ok with the whole sticky sittuation.I'll still get mad over small things so please be considerate of my over emotions. (you know who you are).

Baby Mika aku yg da xbaby la sgt arini sudah jadi Mommy!
3 kittens! org kata murah rezeki.Bagusla cmtuh.

Today my bos gave me half day leave,i have 3 new kittens,the house is neat and tidy,now sitting with my best friend,my guy, my everything and getting free internet.

It couldn't be better.

oh yeah..2 more days till salary and my finances are finally in tact.

I so love today.

kenapa skg aku emo

2009-07-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

Mana aku xbengang.

da bape bulan aku ngn ko,bole ko buat statement yg buat darah aku naik smpi meluap2.

"tapi aku terasa macam hidup aku tak dapat perhatian before this until i knew someone that very close w me.."

Ape selama aku ngn ko xpnh ko dpt perhatian?

mmg aku terasa dgn statement ko nih.2 bulan ko kwn ngn die ko bole ckp mcm nie.Abih slama aku ngn ko 10 bulan aku xpnh bg ape? Bkn stakat perhatianla tp bnyk la aku korban.Jd cuba la phm kenapa aku marah sgt ngn ko.

Lagi satu statement ko yg buat aku bengang.

"Die tgh holiday tuh jgn la spoil kan holiday die"

Da tuh, aku pagi2 dpt tau die da bg ko satu penganugerahan plg hebat.:SAYANG:.
Ko xpikir plak weekend aku rosak.Xde skg best friend ko jd keutamaan.Yang penting die ok.Aku keluar ngn ko ng kwn2 aku ngn kwn2 kita yg ko nmpk aku bt buat muka kat die.Abih kwn ko tuh xde manners lngsng.duduk ramai borak ar sama2.stakat nk gayut je kt talipon pastu ingt ape aku nk kne ajak die bbual.Len kali blk umah je la nk gayut kt talipon.

Eh ko sape pompan?? Da la ajak aku tmpt mkn xsedap.Stakat ayam goring mcm tuh maid aku pon bole bt la.Aku blk tuh aku lapar tau x.sume ko pnye pasal.

Aku mmg angina skg.Xtau la nak period kot.Ntah la.Aku xphm nape ko nak jgk back up die.

Klu ko rasa bnde nie klakar then mngkin perasaan aku nih stakat bahan lawak je kot.Aku bkn marah marah sgt pon psl die nak pggl ko syg tp masalahnye ko da lebih sgt la.Ade aku nak bising klu bella pnggl ko syg peluk2 ko?? Aku xpernah bising la.Ko tau nape??
Sbb klu kwn2 yg lain aku condemn ko xkisah tp kwn baik ko nih ko nak backup jgk.Abis mana aku xmarah.Pasal die ko kuar statement bkn2.Psl die ko ckp aku kongkong ko.

Bkn aku xpernah kenal betina2 mcm nie.Dlu masa ngn ex aku pnh jgk.Sume aku bg.dari pagi ke ptg aku bagi bersama,alas an nak belajar la konon.Smpi kantoi email sayang2 bucuk2 pon aku bg kwn.

Pastu bila jd kes mcm nie sume blame girlfriend.Xcukup bg perhatian la xpndi jaga bdn la inilah itu la..Aku tau la skg aku gemok.

Ape? Salah aku ckp sume nih.Mmg aku insecure, aku marah, Aku nie emo sgt.

Klu mcm tuh xpelah.Aku give up je la.Lantak la ape nk jadi.Lps nih aku senyap je la.Jadi xpayah nak gadoh2.Aku xsalahkn ko ape2 pon.Nie sume salah aku.Aku dtg dr dunia lain.Xopen mcm korg sume.Aku xlayak kot nk join korg sume.Yela aku nie culture shock.Aku bkn dr ghetto jd yang aku tau blajar dpt keje elok kawin beranak mati. Aku pon xske la nk gadoh psl bnde nih.Macam mana pon bnde xkan akhir lain la klu kwn baik ko tuh mati tgh jalan.Biarla.Klu ko rasa aku kongkong ko xpe.Xnk…da.Aku akan cb stop ungkit bnde nih.Aku xtau la mcm mana aku akan buat. Aku simpan je la nonsense dlm hati aku.Klu aku citer pon aku citer kt Mika xpon adik aku yg xtau ape2 pon.Aku cb tahan slama aku bole.Tp klu aku xtahan aku mintak maaf bnyk2 salah silap aku.Aku nk ko happy je.Klu aku xmampu nk bg perhatian yg ckp aku pergi.

One day I’ll be gone.I’ll just go.

Bitch of the moment

2009-07-04T13:18:00.001+08:00

It's 10pm i'm babysitting, the kids are sleeping and the tv just blew up.
Damn.

I'm reading the Cleo Magazine and I come across Taurus.

If you suspect a slight exaggeration or whooping lie from your guy listen to your instincts and do some detective work.

Geez thanks.Maybe should've read that earlier.But nonetheless, already did the detective part and since my instincts are always right now I see the big picture.

Fine.

Look bitch.If you don't like your guy go and piss another gf off.Or maybe you should be thankful for what you have.

Look, don't blame me coz your guy is ugly and an asshole but it's not my fault you chose him.

But don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you after work or what.In fact I'd love to hang out with you.

At least you the thought of you feeling like a piece of shit inside when we hang out together puts me at ease.

But whatever it is.

Fuck Off and Qiss my Ass

I'm bored.

men of honor

2009-07-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

I feel like giving up.

3 hours has past and you're not home yet.I don't have the slightest idea what you're up too but i'm damn hungry.

I'm waiting for you, my food my cigs while watching men of honor.Cuba Gooding Jr just gave me a boost up.Yeah it might sound stupid but you guys try watching it when you feel like in a dumpshit.It worked for me.

aku kau dan kawan kamu

2009-06-28T15:29:00.000+08:00

Aku xmarah pon ko nk kwn ngn die dan mereka tp sejak ko da ade diorg ko mcm xpedulikan aku cm dulu.

aku ngn ko pon mcm tegang da.mungkin ko da bosan kot sbb menatap muka aku je.

aku xpernah kurang ajar ngn kwn2 ko tp ko concern sgt perasaan diorg ko xpikir dr point of view aku.Die tegur aku baik ko nmpk aku tegur die baik ko xnmpk.Yang ko nmpk aku buat muka ketat.Aku dr dulu mmg xberkenan ngn die awal2 aku da ckp.ko jgk yg buat keadaan teruk.mengagung2kan die mcm die la kwn ko plg baik kt dunia.die je kwn ko yg ko ade.Ko ade pikir x aku ngn ko da lagi lama kot susah senang pon lagi lama.Die ade susah2 utk ko ke? itupon ko bole nak lebihkan die dr aku skg.concern sgt die terasa ngn aku.tau la die best friend ko skg.bila die ade aku nk lepak ngn ko je ko kata aku kongkong ko.ko xnak aku dekat2.ko suh aku p lepak jauh2 ngn kwn aku sndri.Bila die xde aku lepak ngn kwn aku je ko kata aku lupa kt ko.

dulu ko nak attention dr aku sbb ko xde org lain.Skg ko ade kwn2 baru ko nak space dr aku.Aku pon xpaham ape g ko nak.

Dulu aku mengadu kt ko, ko pujuk aku.skg aku mengadu kt ko tp ko condemn aku.ko kata masalah aku sume punca dr aku. kalau ko da xnk jadi tmpt aku mengadu xnak jadi kwn baik xpe.

aku ade Mika.mahkluk yg ko benci sgt tuh.

PMS

2009-06-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

Sape kata PMS xstress?

Mmg pms buat aku cepat stress.Hormone marah aku naik membuak2 lebih dari normal.Setiap kali aku rasa ade org menjengkelkan aku darah aku naik meter pon xdpt baca.Bkn salah aku lahir mcm nie.

Jadi kalau da warning awal2 tuh paham2 la.Nape nk cari gaduh lagi? Diam je la.

Bkn susah pon.Sebulan skali je kot.

Bodoh

2009-06-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

Da genap 3 hari aku xtido da nih..ni sume pasal damiah..tp xjgk sbb aku pon sama2 kaki ngn die.tu la nak sgt topup da duduk berjam2 dpn laptop baru skg terpikir nak bukak blog.Dari td duduk mcm bodoh.

Aku rasa diri aku bodoh tiba2.
ape yang aku tulis nih pon aku xtau.

Da la sejuk dlm bilik hotel nih.nk ttp jakun xreti.

rindu plak ttba aku kt si botak Kal.

Kenapa dia?

2009-06-19T02:34:00.000+08:00

Masa aku kenal Kal aku xpernah terpikir nape aku pilih die.aku tau, die ade bila aku perlukan a shoulder to lean on.

Sedar xsedar da 9 bulan aku kenal die.Tapi rasa mcm da 9 tahun.mungkin sbb da satu kepala dlm masa yg singkat je aku da kenal sume pasal die.Tapi aku still xpernah terduduk and pikir btul2 nape aku amik die sampai la arini.Aku tersermpak ngn salah sorg X aku.Selisih je sbnrnye ntah la die perasan ke x.

Ttba teringt plak life yg dulu sblm jmp Kal.Hidup asyik ikut peraturan utk jadi someone yang org lain nak aku jadi.

Bila da OD mcm nie mula la emo sume dtg.Skg aku tau nape.Ade jgk beberapa sbb yg terlintas dlm kepala aku.

1. Die xpernah suruh aku ubah ape2 pasal diri aku.Maki Hamun? Kasar? Mulut laser?
Ini baru dikatakan terima 100% diri aku as I am

2. Aku da gemok dan die panggil aku gemok.Tapi aku xkisah sbb die tetap layan aku mcm puteri.Aku tetap cantik walaupun babat da naik 5 kilo.

3. Die xpernah halang aku nak buat ape2 walaupun die xsuke.Janji aku happy.

4. Die tolak ansur ngn aku bila aku malas mcm babi.Baju aku pon die tolong cuci.Nak harap aku memang sebulan skali la.

5. Aku xperlu nak rahsia ngn die ape2 dr kwn2 laki smpi la aku blk terlewat smpi 3 pagi lupa nak bgtau sbb leka lepak ngn ain.sebab die cukup matang.

6. Die ttp sokong aku walaupun cita2 aku sungguh merepek seperti nk muat dlm bikini hujung tahun. (resolution thn lepas kot).

7. Bila aku demam mengada die tetap jaga aku dulu wlpn kawan2 da call bnyk kali nak open table.

8. Die bkn boyfriend aku, tapi kawan baik aku dan da macam separuh daripada who i am.

Kalau aku nak tulis lagi mungkin malam nie je da jadi smpi no ke-1000 kot.Yang penting aku da tau nape aku pilih die.Mungkin die bukan David Beckham tp wlpn muka die ganas tp hati die mmg baik.First time aku tertarik ngn someone bkn sebab rupa as #1 factor tapi perangai die and die as he is.Tapi die nie bole tahan jugak la bagi aku,bkn aku nih xde taste ke ape.Aku xkisah la ko pikir ape da pasal die.Sebab die bersubang berbatik di tanagn ko anggap die budak jahat.Confirm die rosakkan hidup aku.Tapi aku da belajar 1st hand experience,rupa xtentukan segala2nye.Lagipon, mak aku kata die budak baik.Itu cukup bagi aku.Terima kasih Mohd Khairil.

Kawan baik dulu dan sekarang

2009-06-03T15:20:00.000+08:00

Dulu aku ade kwn yg baik ngn aku bila ade ape2 sume aku kongsi ngn die.Tapi bila da makin besar dan tua nie everything slowly changes.

Aku tetap syg diorg cuma aku da jmp some things in my life yg diorg xagree.
Salah ke aku evolve hidup aku ngn bende baru?
Jahat ke aku bila aku ade kawan lain yg aku lebih rapat?
Sometimes aku hilang kata2 bila jmp.The things we used to talk about da xfun mcm dlu.
Tapi aku rindu masa dlu.

Jgn ingt aku da ade kwn lain aku da lupa ko.Ko ttp kawan baik aku no matter what.

work=24/7

2009-05-13T18:43:00.000+08:00

aku sekarang da jadi workaholic.

Macam xpercaya je.Aku yang dulu paling malas pergi kelas paling lambat hantar assignment sekarang bukan saje lepas working hours ade kat office lagi tapi skg kul 3 pagi pun tgh smbng bt keje2 aku yg xdpt siap td.

STRESS.yang teramat sgt.kali terakhir aku napak midvalley 2 bulan yg lepas.Pathetic gile.Bersosial ngn masyarakat?xde masa.Hari sabtu pun pk keje.Gaji xla seberapa sgt tp kerje beria mcm boss besar.xpela,mungkin 1 hari berbaloi kot.(harap2 la).

Seriously I need a life.

perilaku manusia

2009-04-12T03:21:00.000+08:00

Aku pelik dgn sorg perilaku seseorang manusia nih.
Kali terakhir aku gaduh ngan die agak kasar la jgk.Psl blog nih pon gaduh ngn die.Tp yang aku xpaham, kalau da menyampah sgt ngn aku, kalau rasa mcm aku nih buat2 cerita la kan..

Apasal die still ikut perkembangan aku yer.Blog aku sentiasa dibaca.
Siap letak kat status FACEBOOK lagi. Tau plak tuh bile ade new post.Mungkin die subscribe.1 perkataan je yang bole describe perasaan aku skg.

TERHARU.

Vacation bersama Kawan.

2009-04-02T17:47:00.000+08:00

Pertama kali setelah bape lama ntah nie pg vacation ngn mmbr2..Ye la dlu kne kongkong ngn ex bf nk pg mana2 on xbley.

So vacation pertama nie aku pg PD ngn 4 org kawan dr office aku.

1st day-- sume excited..malangnye masa tuh hujan la plak.terpaksa la merempuh traffic jam dan macam.gerak kul 7 smpi seri malaysia dalam kul 9 la jgk.Sebab lambat dtg diorg p bg bilik ktorg kat org len.

SHIT.

da la tuh air cond bocor. Ok la xpe.sbb vacation mood sume ok. so kuar la pg dinner kt area2 pD.
1 je aku nak comment pasal or kat PD nie.Somboing dan xreti nak respect org lain.ok la that makes it 2 comments. Tau la ktorg bkn org tempatan tp atleast hormat la skit.ni kat kaunter nk bli brg duit balik main campak balik kat customer.BAGUS.Fine.xkisah pon.lain kali aku xdatang da kedai ko.

2nd day-- Pg beach..jln kaki je kat dpn hotel.masa tu start ejek sorg mmbr ktorg nie psl dis one guy (we call him donkey). somewhere along teh way ttba die offended.Da la die yg start tp die nak marah.apahal? pastu nak buat muka.ala kita tgh vacation relax la skit.bkn ape sgt pon.pastu bila jalan sama2 nak buat muka seolah2 this is the worst weekend for you.lantak ko la.Tp sbnrye blog nie mmg ttba rasa nak tulis sbb die punye psl.yela da la kita sume office pastu ko nak buat hal mcm nie plak.padahal bnde nie small matter je kot.

ok la coming to the 3rd day-- da nak balik da..otw balik sume enjoyed the whole weekend except kn aku lagi sorg nih la nama die aku ltk G.senang skit la.Pagi2 buta die kuar bilik ngn muka pantat duduk tepi swimming pool sorg2 xbgtau sape2.ko da la naif klu kne culik kang mcm mana? nie lagi sorg xde manners.

Esoknye smpi ke office die mcm ok cuma ngn slh sorg mmbr aku je die xok.aku pggl die L.nak kata die marah sbb ejek die psl mamat donkey tuh xbley jgk lgpon die yg brought up the whole issue anyways.Tapi even though die x buat pantat sgt ngn aku tp sbb aku baik ngn mmbr aku L nie aku pon terasa la. mmg obvioius sgt ko xde manners bile ko da la join the group tetiba then ko layan L mcm die xwujud.Da lama sbnrnya nak tegur perangai ko nie tapi xsmpi hati takut ko nangis je so xpe la aku luahkan dalam blog.

Ko tuh da la amik common law xlama lagi jadi bakal peguam tapi minda ko mcm seorg budak 5 thn.ko rasa ko bole handle ke kalau client marah2 ko nnt? nnt ko nak buat ape? nangis?

moral of the story is, kalau kita nak kenal seseoranf tuh ngn lebih lanjut, satu cara je yang paling senang.Pergi melancog bersama.

Mangsa baru

2009-03-15T16:45:00.000+08:00

Dengar citer die dah dapat awek baru.nie pn haidar ngn ain yg bagitau.Aku happy utk die.Aleast aku xlah rasa bersalah sgt walaupn sbnrnye die yg salah.Tapi bila pikir balik,aku takut plak.Bkn aku je takut,mak aku pon takut.Harap2 la die da dpt belajar dr kesilapan die.Harap die xbuat kat awek baru die ape yang die buat kat aku.

kawan vs Backstabber

2009-02-13T18:19:00.000+08:00

Macam mana nak kenal kwn sebenar ngn kwn backstabber?

Aku dapat tau cara yg paling senang..baru2 ni( xla baru sgt) aku pg JB ngn sorg bdk nie..umur blum pn cecah age limit tp sbb die gf kpd kwn aku jd aku kwn la ngn die.Tapi nasib baik aku dpt selamatkan diri. Citer die mcm nie.

Aku skg panggil die Ababi sbb bile tkr 2 3 huruf dlm nama die mmg jd cmtuh. (lgpn tgh bengang ngn die).Aku pg JB ngn die bf die dan kwn yg lain (yg lain2 xpenting dlm citer nie).Bawakla die tido umah aku bg mkn minum tmpt tido selesa sume.sbb die bdk bwh umur aku layan la die cm adik aku.Seronok la gak mula2 sbb aku pon sorg je adik istimewa. satu malam nie si Ababi bukak cite psl sorg minah nih, J (nama samaran).Aku kenal la minah J nie sbb aku pon xske die.So sbb die pon dok kutuk2 minah tuh xpuas hati aku pn ckp la ape yg aku xpuas hati kat J nie kt die.
Die ckp ngn aku "cerita cni abis cni".oK la fine.Pastu bkn psl J je die kutuk,Bf die pn kutuk segala mahkluk die kutuk..aku pk lantak la..

Balik pulak kat KL nie..pap..Si J ttba maki2 aku.

apasal?

rupe2nye aku dpt tau si Abai nie pg citer kat si J sume psl aku smpi aku ade bp maid kat umah pon die nk citer bapak aku keje ape pn nk citer.Siap ckp lgi aku nih kat umah pemalas lps mkn campak pinggan je dlm sinki.Yela dah nak sibuk layan ko mmg la.aku ade org gaji.baru skali dok umah da pndi bt kesimpulan.bodoh. Dpn aku ko bkn main sedap kutuk si J,die Pnjm duit ko la ape lah,bila dpn J nak kutuk2 aku plak pastu putar belit citer psl aku.Konon nk laga2kan ktorg..

Xde masa.Aku bkn bdk bwh umur mcm ko yg xbole pk.Ko je otak terencat kot.

Bila ingt die teringt gak kat 2 org mmbr aku.Konon nk tlg aku psl kes Ex aku.Dpn aku bkn main baik lagi ngn aku back up aku.Pastu belakang aku pnggl aku mcm2.Kat Facebook plak tuh.Mcm la aku xtau.Nak tulis kat wall.Mcm bagus kan korg nih?

Xpaham aku ngn manusia mcm lahanat nih.

Hero aku

2009-01-31T10:20:00.000+08:00

Hari ttba ingt hero hidup aku.

Sejak da kerja nie asyik pk budget jer..nak letak bape utk groceries utk ASB aku,kete aku minyak aku umah kucing aku bil talipon handpon letrik sewa umah dan macam2 lagi la.pastu bila tgh bulan hati da gelabah takut duit xcukup.blum lagi bli bju2 aku.Tension dan mengeluh rasa macam da blur sgt xtau bole ke x survive smpi gaji yang sterusnya.

Tula dulu masa kecik tau nak mintak je kat bapak nak nie la nak tue la.bila xdapat merajuk masuk bilik lapar baru keluar.

Time tu xtau pape.skg da kne handle sumenye baru tau camne susahnye bapak aku dlu pergi kerja balik kerja nak sara ktorg.masa tuh gaji pon bape la sgt.tp die xpernah mengeluh pun.aku mmg respect abis.

Itu la die bapak aku,hero aku.

Underworld Rise of the Lycans

2009-01-23T13:03:00.000+08:00

Ok.So movie The Spirit xla sehebat mana.Since aku da kecewa ngan satu movie aku decide nak tgk lagi satu movie yang aku yakin and comfirm best.

UNDERWORLD.

excited la jgk masa pergi tuh sampai ada orang tuh salah sebut nama movie.

"Underwaterworld 2 Bang"..hahaha..jgn marah ye saya perli..

MMG BEST.

Cite pasal awal2 history vampires gdh ngan werewolves.rupa2nye dlu Lycans nie jadi slaves utk Victor dan coloni2nya.Tapi sape yang xpernah tgk Underworld yang dulu2 agak susah la nak paham.Tapi overall aku bagi movie nie 8/10 sebab hero die xbest sgt.Sape ntah pelakon aku pun xkenal.

P.S

Kepada Zahirah a.k.a Z...
Citer nie berbaloi kalau nak tgk kat wayang bayar rm10. =)

THE SPIRIT

2009-01-10T18:00:00.001+08:00

Aku dari dulu mmg suka tgk wayang.Jadi untuk pujuk diri aku supaya xsedih pasal incident kat SHELL aku p la tgk citer The Spirit ngan KAl.First time tgk ngan die tanpa Mawar.Sebenarnye aku janji nak bawak die tapi die kerja.Xper la save skit.

Tgk midnight movie.Nak tgk kat Midvalley tiket RM12.nak parking lagi nak cuci mata lagi...mahal sangat.Jadi aku pun p la tgk kat IOI mall kat Puchong baru rm8.Parking pun RM1 je.save pon save la.Lama xmovie date excited bli limited edition calander.

Bila da masuk panggung wayang free sitting.Maklum la sape jer nak p tgk wayang kat IOI Mall tuh pon.Xyah booking pon xpe.

Awal2 moivie start gempak gila...music warna kira 10 out of 10 la..sekali da 10min tgk citer tuh..

HAMPEH.

Aku rasa macam tgk citer cicakman pon ade.Warna da la hanya merah hitam kelabu oren..Tgk trailer punye la gempak die tunjuk..bila da tgk movie tuh..haiya...ade ke fighting scenes hero lawan villian boleh stop jap sambung balik lain kali sebab penat.

KECEWA SGT.

Citer tuh xla seteruk mana.Gelak mmg gelak ar.Tapi sebab aku tgk trailer macam action pack sgt rupanye cartun/marvel/comedy.

Overall citer nie aku bagi 5/10 ar sebab lawak bodoh die buat aku gelak sebab bodoh sgt.Jadi kalau korang xder kerja da xtau sgt nak tgk citer ape bola ar nak layan skit2.tapi jgn la pk mentang2 director die sama ngan citer '300' citer nih nie pon gempak gila.

TIDAK SAMA SEKALI.

Hari nie aku benci SHELL

2009-01-08T14:00:00.000+08:00

Bengang.

Bengang sangat sebab arinie duit aku kne pegang ngan SHELL.

YE. SHELL.ala petrol stesen famous tue.

Citernye macam nie.Aku baru dapat gaji.Berbulan2 tunggu akhirnye aku dapat la duit untuk shopping dan enjoy + sara hidup di KL nih.Da la tu kad atm aku debit mastercard.Excited punye pasal aku teringin sangat nak swipe la kat stesen je.Maklum la aku baru lagi dalam bidang2 swipe kad nih.Jakun skit.Lagipun malas nak masuk sebab nanti bangla2 dalam tuh dok usha2 macam tak pernah tengok orang.Da abis isi minyak aku pon p la jalan2 happy.sampai je kat atm nak withdraw duit tgk2 kurang RM400.

ARGHH!!!

aku da cuak da..selidik punye selidik aku dapat tau setiap kali swipe mmg SHELL akan pegang duit.

SIAL.

Trus xde mood aku nak p shopping.klu ade mood pon duit da short da.klau setakat rm50 xpelah jugak.terpaksa la tunggu 10 hari berkerja.hilang la impian aku nak p penang minggu nih..xpelah Dila aku datang bulan depan je la.

moral of my story:

1. jgn gune debit kad kat SHELL.
2.Jgn jakun sgt nak swipe debit kad.

=)

Road Trip

2009-01-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

Esok gaji.

YES!

prorate ke x aku xkisah janji dapat duit..lama xpg jalan2.Memandangkan aku da lama xmerayap kerana dikongkong waktu aku muda2 dulu aku ingat aku nak amik road trip la bulan nie..

Arah tujuan?

Macam biasala..xtau lagi.
Ahaks!

Beau aku kata jom la pg penang.Tapi..ade ape kat penang? Aku pernah pg penang skali je.tue pun pergi wedding Aunty aku.

Takpe la ape2 pun weekend nie kene jgk merayap.pg kedai bli kasut kerja baru baju baru seluar baru.Kasut kerja aku da 6 bulan hampir tiap2 hari pakai da nak rabak da.Kesian aku.Tu la dulu ade duit abis kat bf.smpai kasut kerja nak rabak baru nak bli.baju pun baju masa pki kat U 3 thn lepas.Nasib baik bf bru nie xbnyk ragam.Resolution #1 untuk tahun nie aku nak menghabiskan gaji aku ak AKU je.skit2 untuk org len bole la kot.Aku mmg suke bli hadiah.

Eh..lari topik plak...

Road trip?
Hmmm..Penang pun penang la..dila kata makanan situ sedap.

New Year aku

2009-01-01T13:57:00.000+08:00

hari nie mungkin hari sial aku.

I had a crappy day at work.Tambah plak tue boleh plak dapat sms dari orang gila.Xde,aku xtipu,mmg die gila.ataupun da on the way nak mental.maki hamun aku xtentu pasal,pastu nak buat2 cerita pasal orang2 yang tersayang dalam hidup aku.mana xpanas beb.nak buat kerja pun xsenang.Spoil gila mood aku untuk satu hari.da lama da aku bengang ngan die tapi ini da tahap melampau.agak2 ar nak menipu,nak buat cerita.aku bukan la bodoh sangat pun ko nak tipu macam tu.die nie pun satu,pandai sangat agaknye.tue yang dahi jendol sanagt.

Da la malam nie malam new year.Gaji pun xdapat lagi.Bos aku kata die pun xsure bila dapat.mungkin dapat 10hb kot.

KOT.

Tambah la kebengangan aku.Nak keluar celebrate pun da xbole.duit xde,kawan2 aku plak terpaksa nak bekerja extra shift.

ARGH! spoil sume plan aku untuk new year.

Jadi macam biasa la new year aku sambut macam mana aku sambut tahun2 yang lalu.depan tv,sekotak rokok dan juga air.Nasib ada boyfriend sudi teman aku yang tgh miserable malam nie.Jadi xlah teruk sgt.dapat la aku tengok bunga api ngan die.Bukan ape.Da belajar kat UMT 3 tahun lama da xtgk bunga api live.Kesian aku.Jadi aku pun terfikir.salah satu new year resolution ialah nak sambut jugak new year kat luar,pecahkan tradisi sambut kat umah.Ye la,kalau nak buat resolution nak kuruskan badan aku ingat da 3 tahun ko buat camtu tapi xjadi jugak.

HAPPY NEW YEAR SEMUA ORANG.

Rokok dan Perempuan

2008-12-28T07:00:00.000+08:00

Aku selalu tertanya2.Kenapa bila lelaki merokok semua orang
pikir mamat nie cool je tapi bila nampak perempuan merokok mula la nak sexist.Macam2 nama yang keluar untuk labelkan mereka.

BITCH.
PEREMPUAN MURAH
SUNDAL

Aku xpaham kenapa ade lagi orang macam tue dalam dunia nie.Ape bezanye? Aku still xnampak.

Aku pernah juga amik rokok.tipulah xpernah.Sampai kena lempang plak tuh.Sape yang lempang tue xyah la aku sebut.kang aku sebut ade orang tue mengamuk dan memaki hamun aku lagi.

Aku kene pelempang sampai bibir aku bengkak dan jadi warna purple.warna kegemaran aku.Yang aku heran,yang melempang aku tuh bukan xpernah isap rokok.Biarpun ko social smoker ke addict ke sama je bagi aku.Yang penting ko smoker jugak.

Adil ke kalau kita melabel perempuan merokok? ape bezanye dengan lelaki? sebab kurang sopan? aku rasa sama je xde kene mengena ngan sopan atau tidak.Kadang2 aku rasa kelakar jugak ngan orang yang macam nie.kolot abes.

terus terangla...kalau korg lelaki yang merokok dan korg mengutuk perempuan yang perokok dengan panggilan2 nama yang seperti di atas aku cuma ade satu je nak balas balik...

'talking to the mirror?'

Aku dan Kanak2 Riang dulu dan kini

2008-12-16T13:57:00.000+08:00

Aku memang dari dulu xpernah suka budak2.bukan la benci tapi aku biasa je ke kot.xamik endah,ada ke xde sama je.setiap kali sepupu2 aku datang aku masuk bilik.malas aku nak dengar dionrg gaduh nak tgk kartun ape malas nak ape peduli sape dapat main anak patung sape.bagi aku semua tue buat pekak telinga aku je.

Tapi sejak ade 4 org insan nie macam lain plak.setiap kali diorg datang aku rasa xsabar.lagi2 bila diorg excited jumpa aku panggil nama aku mintak dukung aku plak yang excited.Pagi2 da bangun kepada teriakan diorg yang xakan berhenti dari 7 pagi sampai 10 malam.Sebelum nie aku cuma masuk bilik dan buat hal aku sendiri je tapi sekarang aku yang excited untuk bangun pagi mandikan diorg bagi diorg makan etc.Tapi kadang2 excited tue sekejap je la.bila diorg da gaduh antara satu sama lain aku mula la pening kepala.Xtau nak buat macam mana.kang aku marah,anak orang.

Sekarang semua budak2 nie da balik sunyi jer umah nie.Aku rindu plak kat gelak tawa diorg.Ntah la.Mungkin naluri ibu aku da mula nak menyerlah.

HAHA

Tribute to Zara

2008-12-12T12:36:00.000+08:00

Hari nie hari cuti aku.Tetiba plak rasa nak belek2 gambar lama dlm laptop.Ternampak plak gambar kaki2 nie.Gambar nie gambar aku ngan kawan baik aku.Rindu plak aku kat die bila takde.Bila die ade gaduh je sepanjang masa.Tapi itu la kawan baik aku.

Aku ngan die sama bintang Taurus yakni degil.Tue yang gaduh je memanjang.Kadang2 sakit hati gak.Bila dekat gaduh bila jauh rindu.tapi bila ingat ape yang die buat untuk aku terharu siot.Gaduh camne pun xpernah die lupa tolong aku time aku susah.Die la yang stand up untuk aku bila aku xbole stand up untuk diri aku.Ingat lagi ade skali nie die maki sorg mamat nie sebab buat setan ngan aku.Ingat lagi ayat die. 'CELAKA LA KO ni XXXX!'.Masa tue birthday aku.Aku gaduh la ngan mamat nie padahal gaduh bukan pasal ape pon.benda kecik je.Tapi biasala laki,mana bley kalah.Gaduh punya gaduh ntah dari mana ntah die datang defend aku.PHEW! Mmg penyelamat aku malam tue.

Masa aku down gila die la yang jadi tempat aku mengadu.Die sorg je yang tau yang walaupun muka aku happy je aku sebenarnya tak happy.biasala muka pokerface nie mana ade perasaan sgt pon.Masa aku 'dimadukan' ko jadi teman hiburan aku sampai satu ketika tue aku lupa semu problem2 aku.Die xmacam kebanyakan kawan2 aku yang lain.hipokrit.depan aku baik...belakang aku panggil aku macam2.betina,sundal,cibai dan macam2 lagi la.

Banyak lagi ar ko buat untuk aku.Masa ex aku suruh aku xkawan ngan ko sebab ko xsuke die (atas sebab2 yang kukuh) baru aku betul2 realise how deep our friendship is.Hampir2 jugak la aku nak buat dek jer ngan ko.tapi bila pikir balik.Tak sanggup aku nak putuskan friendship kita.kalau bukan sebab ko maybe da lama aku give up kot.

Moral of the story yang aku nak sampaikan?Boyfriend...girlfriend..mereka boleh datang dan pergi bila2 masa je tapi kawan2 kita sentiasa ngan kita susah senang sampai akhirat.

Entry kali nie aku memang dedicate kepada salah sorg kawan baik aku zara.Thank you for everything you've done for me.miss you gila2.da gaji jgn lupa aku.da nak new year nie.

Kerja Baru Hidup Baru

2008-12-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

Da hampir sebulan xkerja.

Hidup pun kuis2 je.Nak mintak PAMA malu.asyik mintak diorg jer.Umor pun da 22.Xkan nak mintak lagi kot.

Aku pun nie pandai sangat.Da nak berhenti kerja xcari back up dulu.Sakit hati punye pasal ngan management,nak ikutkan sangat perasaan main cakap ikut sedap mulu jer.

I RESIGN.

Tapi aku xmenyesal pun.5 bulan kerje situ macam keje ape.Glamour mmg glamour ar.Jumpa artis jumpa penyanyi tapi aku xheran pon.Bukan aku dapat duit pon.Tapi penat la.Da la masa tue aku tgh tension ngan masalah peribadi aku aka boyfriend aku.mana taknye,pergi kerja balik keje.nak kuar ngan member xboleh.Xde masa untuk diri sendiri.

Jadi aku pon pikir punye pikir.Aku nak life yang baru.bukan macam nie.hidup semata2 nak cari duit untuk makan dan dengar arahan orang len. Oleh itu aku pon buang boyfriend aku dan berhenti kerja.Konon nak new life la.Lagipun aku da memang xbole da kerja situ.Dr.Selva kata sebab kepala aku terhentak aritue tula yang bila tengok skrin je aku jadi pening2 lalat.Susah aku nak kerja.Boleh memang bole tapi nanti aku yang sakit.Nasib baik X-ray aku tunjuk tengkorak aku ade lagi.

Hampir sebulan aku hidup terkial2.tapi masa tue aku happy.xrisau pun duit makin kurang.lagi2 dapat si dia yang baru.baik plak tue.kene ngan jiwa.aku rasa bebas.xpernah aku rasa macam nie.aku nak buat ape nak kuar ngan sape pon aku punye pasal la.Xde sape nak halang aku.

YES.

Tapi malangnye hidup nie kena la berduit.lagi2 hidup kat KL nie.aku pon risau punye risau.mak aku da tanya da bila nak balik? aku kata kerja banyak padahal duit tiket xde.

sekarang alhamdulliah aku da ade kerja baru.Elok je savings nak abis rezeki aku datang berguling2.Dapat la aku kerja baru.Best plak tue.Sekarang hidup aku day by day getting better.Umah aku pun da cantik.Dulu macam umah bujang lapok sekarang baru nampak macam umah pompan.

tue la orang kata setiap benda yang berlaku dalam hidup mesti ade hikmah.hilang boyfriend lama dapat yang lebih baik.hilang kerja lama dapat yang lebih baik.

Motif?

2008-12-09T17:08:00.000+08:00

Lama da xupdate blog.
Busy sgt ngn kehidupan seharian.Marah Dila kat aku kerana menjadi blogger xbertanggungjawab.Nie pun teringat kat blog sebab dapat call dari mamat sorg nie smlm.

Die terasa ngan blog aku.

Aik? nape plak nak terasa?

motif?

Aku xletak pun nama sape2 dlm blog aku nih dan setahu aku, kite bebas nak nak cakap ape saje dlm blog nie.Die suruh aku padam la ape la sebab takut sgt malu ngan kawan2.MALU?

nak malu ape pun.bukan aku ade sebut nama sesiapa pun smpi nak malu.sape yang da tau cerita tau la aku watak2 dalam cerita aku yang xtau tue hanya mampu baca dan keliru saje la.

Biar aku jelaskan sikit kat sini kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan.(you know who you guys are).

Aku buat blog nie sebab ini satu cara untuk aku release stress aku.Bukan untuk malukan sesiapa dan bukan juga untuk jaga hati sesiapa.

Mula2 da nak padam la gak tapi bila pikirkan balik buatpe pun.Aku bukan buat salah pun.Lagipun aku ade hak nak cerita ape yang sebenarnya terjadi dalam hidup aku.Kalau ade sesape yang terasa itu masalah korang.Aku xletak nama sesiapa aku xmenunding jari kat sesiapa.Lagipun kalau aku xcerita kat blog pun lambat laun tersebar gak dari mulut ke mulut.itu yang jadi versi macam2.jadi baik aku tulis je semuanya.

Jadi bak kata seorang kawan aku...

siapa yang makan cili,dia la yang rasa pedasnye.

Why I did it.::.Part One

2008-11-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

Everyone's talking 'bout it.

SEMUA yang aku kenal.Dah macam2 cerita aku dengar setiap kali versi yang berlainan.

Kenapa aku break? Btul ke?

Aku terlampau bnyk sgt jawapan utk soalan tue.

Ye.Akhirnye aku break ngn si gila tue.And this is my story.

Aku tau ramai yang terkejut ngn statement aku nie. Ye la,3 thn aku ngn die.Sume org ingt kitorglah couple plg sweet plg padan plg...whatever...

Tapi tue sume kat luar je.Yang nampak pada zahir.

Aku da xlarat da nak berlakon nak hipokrit.Sume aku buat pada die ade je xbtul.salah baju lah..rambut xcantikla..bahu besar la..pendek sgtla..salah cakap skit..kne maki kne marah dan paling xtahan skali kene pukul..aku nak add mmbr2 laki kat friendster pun jadi masalah..die kata aku gatal.(padahal da kenal lama da)hish..tapi sayang punye pasal (kononla) aku tahan gak perangai die.Sampai la ke satu tahap aku hilang kesabaran aku.

Aku bukan la nak cakap kat sini aku betul, aku baik ke ape. Tapi aku dah penat nak mengalah.Pada die aku kne jadi seorang wanita yang lemah lembut (aku perlu ubah cara kasar aku), ikut cakap die (opinion aku xpenting), dan jangan melawan balik (lupakan yang aku ade akal fikiran).

HELLO!

Ini da zaman ape dah.Mana ade lagi perempuan camtue! Lagi pun ko tu sape? Suami aku ke? Nak suh aku ubah sana sini.Kalau nak suruh ubah,cermin la diri sendiri yang panas baran dan insecure tuh.Aku nak pg mane2 ngn kawan aku pun nak kne mintak izin kau.MELAMPAU.
Ko mmg yang plg terbaik kalau bab2 nak jatuhkan keyakinan aku.Paling xtahan,bila kite gaduh ko marah kalau aku ngadu ngan kawan2 aku.Kononnye jatuh nanti air muka ko sebagai seorang lelaki.Tapi masa ko pukul aku,lempang aku,terajang aku xterpikir pulak betapa dayusnye ko sebagai seorang lelaki kan.

NTAHLAH...

6 bulan aku ambil masa untuk pikirkan masak2 keputusan nie...bila aku da nekad tau plak die nak cari balik,nak menyesal.
nak cakap mcm mane lagi.PADAN MUKA.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Kalau dapat teman lelaki/perempuan yang xbole nak terima kita seadanye,blah je.xgne bersama orang yang xpandai nak hargai kita for what we're worth.